What I find interesting is: it feels as if I am meeting God for the first time.
Hear me out...🤯
I have been in church my entire life. I come from a lineage of preachers, musicians and singers who were all reared in the church. My grandfather, Reverend Garfield Jackson, Sr. was an old school preacher who exemplified what a real man of God was. Whenever my grandfather left the house, he always wore slacks, a button up shirt, suspenders, a huge chain in the shape of a cross was draped around his neck and he always a gold ring...There was no doubt what his profession was...he was the epitome of a preacher. Not only did he look like a preacher, he lived the same type of life at home. No cussing, no drinking, no weird women running in and out...he loved his westerns, his soap operas, reading his bible, his children/grandchildren and his guns. Yes, guns! 🔫🔫🔫He had guns in the house, a gun in his car and I honestly believe he had a gun at the church for them riled up deacons. But, that’s another story...🤦🏿♂️
My mother was no exception to “Holy” living. I mean this woman would wake up at sometimes 3am or 4am in the morning to pray...ALOUD! 🙇🏾♀️My mother was saved saved...even before it was popular. She had scriptures written on her wall that she would declare in between her prayers...her Bible was heavily highlighted, underlined...she wrote notes in the margins. All of her bibles looked Worn and battered. 🧎🏾♀️I would come home from school and the television would be on a Christian station and usually Benny Hinn or Marilyn Hickey or even Joyce Myers would be the catalyst of some kind of “revival” in the house. I was sooooooooooo irritated. We never missed bible study. Never missed church. Homework? Sickness? And even in the event of death, you were going to church! No excuses...💯
So, I know all about church! I know all about God! I know all about the Word...all of it!😐
In this season of my life, as I am developing my own relationship with God, I feel as though I am meeting Him for the first time. Surprisingly, the more I learn about Him I find, He’s nothing like thought He was.
Check it...have you ever met somebody that someone close to you previously badmouthed. You did not really know them but you had a preconceived notion regarding who they were, based on what someone else said about them. Yet, to your surprise, when you actually met the person, they were nothing like what the person said? 🙈I mean, you wasted valuable time developing, what could have been, a beneficial relationship in your life based on the experience of someone else.
That’s exactly how I feel about my relationship with God. The person that I am getting to know is nothing like the person that I heard about in church. I must admit, our relationship is developing. Nevertheless, the more time I spend in His presence, the more I learn about Him. My grandfather and my mother had a beautiful relationship with God...and although I was able to witness it, I never thought I could actually have the type of relationship that they had with Him...😏
Because, church (as a whole) made me feel as if God did not truly love me. I had to look, dress, talk and be like them for God to want me. (And I never fit into that box)...I was never wired to fit in...I have always been a person to follow my own path...(some good, some...well not so good.) 🤓Besides, there were so many rules and regulations that it felt impossible to get close to Him so I stopped trying. I felt like I would never be good enough to make it into the good ole boys club...so I went to church...sang, taught, preached, encouraged, etc...from a place where I ”knew of” God...not necessarily because I knew Him. In essence, my salvation was based on fear of not going to HELL. 😩 I didn’t really love Him, I just didn’t want to go to that ole lake a fire...and burn in hell forever. 😫😖🥺🔥🔥🔥
He’s Not So Bad Though!🙌🏿
What I have learned about God is that He wants the best for me. He considers me His son yet simultaneously calls me His friend. I have learned that it is not His will for me to be sick, depressed, isolated and in poverty. His plan and will for my life is that of goodness, love, joy, peace, health and happiness. Getting to know Him has truly been an amazing journey thus far. One of the greatest parts about this is: He loves me, the way I am. ❤️ I am favored. The apple of His eye...(don’t be jealous!) I pray that those of you who read this, my 2nd blog, are experiencing an amazing journey with Him as well. 😎 Why? Because He loves you too. Let’s enjoy the journey together. He’s not that bad....🤷🏿♂️